Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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