there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize