When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
