you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
