Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
