Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
