I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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