It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
