woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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