The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
