that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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