Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
