margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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