Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
