i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
