There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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