so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
