let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
