yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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