HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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