i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
