Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i think i just lost a toe
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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