Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
