I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
