Non-Jews are for practice
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
