I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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