I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
