Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
