He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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