I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize