There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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