Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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