I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
