FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
