I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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