U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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