i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
