i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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