butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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