Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
