Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
