Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize