He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
