I love black thongs
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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