If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
last night I used snow as a chaser
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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