dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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