hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
