We won't sleep together?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
