It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
