hotel room ftw
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
