I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
