can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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