well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
