Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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