dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
