he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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