I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just invented taco cereal.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
