Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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