how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
