just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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