JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think your dad took our porno
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
