bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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