wanna go halves on a baby?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
