I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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