found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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