apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
