who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
