East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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