is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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