I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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