There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
