He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
