My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have post one night stand depression
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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