I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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