Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think I won the penis lottery.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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