just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She bit a glass in half.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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