i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
