I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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