Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
