that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
